Thought of the day

If going back to school didn’t cost money, I might consider it.

That is all. These last two posts have been short, I know. It’s not that I don’t have stuff to say – I do. I’m just trying to wean myself off of spilling more than I need to. It’s hard. But things are okay.

critique group (maybe)

I wonder if I should try and join another critique group. I think it’s safe to say that if I was really a writer I’d still be writing stuff continuously but I’m not. That’s okay I guess. Joining another group would be like me putting on my figure skates again and scratching an itch – I just miss it. Of course there are times when I feel fulfilled enough without it which is also good. I just need to keep fulfilled. Or distracted. However that may come to be. Maybe being up and down is a sign of not being a simpleton? I don’t know. Sometimes being a simpleton sounds appealing, but if someone has to think about it they’ll probably never be it, haha.

Current goings-on, health, and more

This weekend I’m shopping for Halloween costumes for the party Angel will be having. I didn’t do anything last year but this year Rachel will be in town and she’ll get to meet Josh so I’m excited. Not sure who else is coming yet, I should check. Oh, and yay for Angel’s new job at the opera :) Now I gotta cross my fingers for Rebecca who’s just moved further west! I think by the end of the year my work will be moved into its new bldg. but it’s only like ten minutes from where it is now.

A new book out this week that sounds interesting is Crush It - a ‘how-to’ on making money off your passions by using the internet, creating your personal brand, etc. It sounds like one of those things you wonder why everybody isn’t doing. Or maybe everybody is doing it and you’re just behind. Or maybe you feel like you already know the ways there are to make money doing what you like and you’ve already tried and do you really need any more tips? Sometimes I think I just need to do what I’m doing and trust that if something is meant to happen, it’ll happen. There are no shortcuts or secrets or schemes, are there? I don’t know. I shall check it out anyway.

I keep finding more social networks to join, but there’s no way I’m gonna do much with them because I don’t have that much time. I am a working girl. Only reason I guess I sign up is so I can get emails on recent activity and/or allow the possibility of my information falling upon someone I don’t know whose existence could benefit mine and vice versa. It’s a crapshoot, but ya never know.

I finally got an iphone so I could have internet at my fingertips 24/7. Do I really need internet at my fingertips 24/7? No – especially when I’m rarely away from a computer as it is. But I was curious what it’d be like. It’s good to be curious about something, isn’t it? Btw, just because I have it doesn’t mean I’m gonna turn into someone who posts an update every time I eat something or go to the bathroom, haha!

Speaking of eating and going to the bathroom, thank god I’m still young enough to not need a colonoscopy. Random thing to bring up, right? Only reason I mention it is so I don’t have to come back to it next time I hear about one. And what I’m about to say could be related to eating disorders, so I guess it’s good I get it out now and maybe come closer to getting to the bottom of the issue. Apparently, the universal notion is that it must take a person a whole day of not eating anything to get ‘cleaned out.’ What?! In my mind, I’m cleaned out every time I take a shit. If I wasn’t, I’d be worried. Am I out of my mind? If I had to get a colonoscopy, I’d assume tell the doctor, ‘ok, I just went, do the procedure now.’ I don’t wanna wait around forever withering away into nothing. I’m about 90 lbs, and I think I’d be on the brink of death if I couldn’t replenish myself soon. And why would I voluntarily make myself sick? If I don’t feel like anything is wrong, I say don’t fix something that aint broken. And hey – if I did have something wrong, so what? We’re all gonna die anyway so leave me alone. Whew.
And on voluntarily making oneself sick – I mention that touchy area because I’ve gone to certain lengths to make sure everything was working right digestively. I’ve used laxatives before, so having to use one when everything was already working properly would go against my natural instincts. I’d think, ‘but I’m healthy. I don’t need this shit. If I do it, it’s just gonna perpetuate another slide into unhealthiness.’ See? Sorry if that’s too personal but I’ve never quite been able to put my feelings on this into words so I’m a little relieved.

Last mention for today’s post – I’ve been listening to songs (via youtube) from the Editors upcoming album In This Light and On This Evening. It is so very awesome.

Presentations

There was a Seinfeld episode when George said to a woman, “I’m bald, unemployed, and live with my parents.” I can relate to that. Well, not the bald and unemployed part – just hiding none of the bad stuff, cutting to the chase, refraining from pretenses. I did /do have some good things about me, like my artistic accomplishments of the past. I suppose that helped in attracting someone even though I pretty much issued a warning early on – ‘I’m not where I want to be in life and I don’t know how to get there.’ I was grateful to have someone understand and accept that. That’s what I was starting to get at in my last post but I didn’t get too far into it. It’s nice when people in a relationship can present some vulnerability and relate to each other. But it’s also important that people grow and progress together instead of wallowing with each other. Not that there’s been much wallowing in mine because he’s released some great albums - but I…well, I’m not comparing myself but despite my efforts at progression, things appear the same. I’ve been okay with things being the same on the condition that he’s been okay with them. But I don’t know how long that will be sustained. Just sayin’. I know I need to quit talking about personal life on here before I get in trouble, so after this I’ll try to cut it down. I don’t think I’ve said too much up to this point that would get me in trouble but I shall watch this damn blogging compulsion!

Goings-on

Consulted my reading list again this weekend to find something new since I finished all the library books I had at least a week ago. Sometimes the list is too long for me to pick one, but I did put one novel on hold that the library had – Undiscovered Gyrl by Allison Burnett. Meanwhile, I found a book on writing that I forgot I had – Janet Evanovich’s How I Write. Even though I haven’t read any of her novels, I still started in on it. My boyfriend picked it up for me, after all :) Speaking of which, I am really thankful to have a confidante. I always knew I wanted one but at this point in my life I don’t know where I’d be otherwise. Probably still searching for one. I’m not saying people can’t still be productive and fulfilled on their own because they certainly can be, but sometimes you just need someone to talk to and express yourself to. Someone who will insure that you’re never alone.
I’m taking a break from the big stuff for the moment (like moving, life direction…) even though it’s still there in the background. Next weekend one of my aunts is visiting from NJ and Fri I officially turn 28 :)

On the blogging community

I think I might start checking a few of the blogs on my subscription list daily – won’t say which ones to be fair – but just a few and the rest can wait. Why? They’re so popular that by the time I get to them they may have garnered hundreds of comments from followers. Now, I don’t often read the comments sections, but every now and then I may have an inclination to comment. If that’s the case, I hesitate at the thought of sifting through everyone else’s comments first. It’d take a lot of extra time. Not only that, but who knows if the blogger even continues to check comments on old posts after subsequent ones have been posted? Maybe, maybe not. Anyway, just thought I might try to be a little more active because I can. If I had something else important going on (like another job or a novel in progress or school) in addition to my day job then maybe keeping up with the blogging community wouldn’t be as big a priority. But I don’t have any of those aforementioned things going on so why not allow myself a little enjoyment? I’ve been thinking about what else I could do in the future besides my day job that would make me feel more important or successful, but life isn’t really bad the way it is. I have family and friends and things to enjoy when I’m not working – among which is being (sort of) in a circle of publishing industry folk who all seem to know each other (virtually or otherwise) which is great. When I was in L.A. I used to think the film industry was vast, but on the inside it wasn’t as big as it might’ve seemed from the outside. You could get to know who the major players were. Now the number of aspiring artists in the acting and writing worlds is another thing completely. I couldn’t possibly get to know all the fellow writers who read and comment on the same blogs I do (even though it might be cool) – unless I actually read all the comments and noticed the same names repeatedly. But that’s okay. I still feel like part of a community and there are many possibilities that can come from that. I don’t need to be a major player or know a major player personally. Hell, I’m happy to have a few followers on my blog as it is! That makes me feel good. It’s the simple things, ya know.

Holiday recap

I’ll start this post with music – here’s a link to an awesome review of If You Don’t Like the World, Change It. Next, Exhibition is out and has been added to my collection as of this past Labor Day weekend which was Josh’s and my 5th visit together. We had an early joint b-day celebration since his is 9/17 and mine is 9/25. Also did some apartment hunting, watched some more movies (after he fixed my computer’s random malfunctioning again – couldn’t have happened at a better time, haha). Even went to *cough* Chuck E Cheese. Actually, it was fun – we originally went in search of an arcade that would have Dance Dance Revolution but alas, no luck at Chuck; oh well. A week from this coming weekend is a possible writers group meeting and my dad’s b-day. Then after that my sister will be visiting again. And after that…well, I won’t get into October yet – have to save some posts for later :)